Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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