No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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