You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
