omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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