I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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