I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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