I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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