She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
