how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
