Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
