My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
