Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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