i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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