No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
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Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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