It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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