Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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