is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
