Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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