I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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