I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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