walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
