9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
