im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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