32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
