i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I need moral support for this bender
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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