Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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