...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize