i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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