Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
