Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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