Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
