It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want her autograph on my taint
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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