Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize