help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
