I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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