Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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