the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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