Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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