Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Randomize
