Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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