Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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