i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
