Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just google imaged poop.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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