my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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