She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
