I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize