my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
