did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
