I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
