I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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