A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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