So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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