I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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