I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
