they need to just BURY HIM!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
