so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
