I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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