so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
