Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
