I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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