Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
