just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
